Category: Adult Education Resources

Adult Education Resources, Community, Education, Gifts, health, humanity, lifestyle, Mental Health, motivation, planning, support group, Uncategorized, wellness

When you have been crushed, it doesn’t mean the core of who you are was too!

unitywithcommunity

Hotwheels

July 5, 2007 was my larger than life lesson that continued to take me through everyday that moved me forward. Not one day that will ever be taken for granted.

On this day I was not in a car, but was walking out of my old office building when the 1800 pound awning collapsed on top of me. I was the only person who was trapped and blocking the entire front of the building. I remained conscious yet breathless. I remember hearing the loud screeching of screams coming from a colleague and I remember the frantic of others trying to pry heavy metal and debris from atop of my back as I was slumped forward in the parking lot.  Many men tried to pull me from under and I couldn’t speak nor move. My entire body was numb and perhaps the lack of sensation was my blessing from what I would endure soon enough. When the fire department and ambulance arrived I heard the saws chopping away what seemed like 25 feet in length of heavy metal, wood, and lighting. I remember as soon as I was placed inside the ambulance my body let me know to the degree of its injury. As soon as we scurried off my left leg was twisted and flopping around. I was screaming from the most unbearable pain I could ever feel in my life. I was begging the medic to hold my leg and I recall his response that he could not do so to reduce any further risk of injury. Prior, I asked a friend who worked with me and who was also at the scene to come with me to the hospital. I was scared and didn’t want to be alone. I knew I would otherwise because I didn’t have anyone to call to be beside me. The pain was unreal and my friend, she held my leg. At one point my body went numb again. I no longer had any sensation. I didn’t know whether I should be relieved or scared. I remember screaming again and praying that I would be OK. I prayed all the way through the ride to the hospital. The numbness continued for a while, which inside I was worried that I was paralyzed. I later learned that I needed orthopedic surgery to my left femur and hip, as my femur was broken just below the ball joint and was detached. With additional findings my l1 through4 vertebra were fractured, and 3 breaks to my pelvis as well. I remember that I had to wait for surgery for some time. I remember at a sudden moment I woke up and my hospital bed was being pushed to the operating room. I was in a frantic. I told the surgeon that I didn’t want surgery and I was so scared. He told me if I didn’t have surgery, I would be crippled for the rest of my life. I didn’t really understand at this time how severe my injuries were. I didn’t know what was going on. I was told that my left femur and hip were broken and they had to reattach them with a titanium rod in order to facilitate healing and any chance for me to walk again. Soon after my world went dark.

I woke up laying in my hospital bed confined in a back brace with a traction attached after my surgery for my left hip and femur. I was recovering in the hospital for several days. Learning how to maneuver with occupational therapy. I had visitors from friends who would sometimes stay the night at my “hotel suite”. We would watch movies, sing and play music and visit around different hospital floors. Most times I felt very alone but blessings through others certainly appeared for me during the hardest and most vulnerable time of my life. My mother suffered through a lot of physical and mental issues. She was in a very dark place with substance abuse and living in and out of inadequate and unsafe living conditions. She also didn’t drive. She never visited me in the hospital and we rarely spoke. My father, I hadn’t seen in several years at this point in my life. I didn’t have any family around to be there in any form of support for me. I had friends and colleagues that were there and through them miracles began to happen. Soon enough I would face the end of my time in the hospital and the bigger challenges of where I would go from there were now my problem. I didn’t have an adequate home or caregiver to go to. My only option that was given to me at this time would be a nursing home facility. As anyone can imagine the challenges of that alone at such a young age were frightening on the physical, mental , and financial standpoint. It wasn’t until my former boyfriend caught wind of my accident and situation and immediately called his parents. He told his mother to please take care of me as I had no one. He was a relationship I had in since the age of 17. He was my best friend and he taught me a lot about life, he protected and supported me through much when I didn’t have anyone else. We were young and eventually parted ways as we were growing through life and he moving back to his home country in need of figuring out his future. Meanwhile, I moved into his parents downstairs dining room which they converted into my hospital room. Equipped with a hospital bed, accessible side tables and even beside commode. I was like a small child during my recovery where I could do very little for myself. His mother took the role of my nurse and caregiver. I had several days of physical therapy per week, which she drove me to.  This family was my guardian angel. The biggest blessing one could ever receive. Having no obligation to bring a stranger into their home and love and care for someone just as their own. A family I could never be more thankful for and in hopes they will always know this. Over the years we became countries apart, life changes, families and new relationships of our own, but my heart will always  be so full of love for these angels throughout the rest of my life. I know that they were brought into my life to serve a higher purpose. Not only did they aid me to my physical recovery, but their humane acts of extreme love and kindness taught me one of the most valuable and powerful lessons I could have ever at such a young age.

I remained jovial during the toughest time of my life. I was hopeful and optimistic  in not only recovering, but exceeding the negative expectations of even my healthcare providers. I went to therapy each day challenging myself and pushing through the pain. I would recall the words of physicians in the hospital that told me I would never be normal or perhaps walk well again. I would be limited throughout the rest of my life. Those first days of my accident, I had already decided this was not the end for me. I was 20 years old. I had many goals and dreams. I was working hard already to escape a life of darkness and in-spite my accident, I believed this too would pass. Like everything else, I would heal and I would learn from it. Only adding to the unbreakable strength I was already building on. I was always positive. Though my experiences, I empathized with others and I understood that so many were just as alone as I was. Some unfortunately could not see the light of day, where I was always searching for it. While I was in the hospital, I would roll into patients rooms in my wheelchair to sit with them. Knowing how much of a difference it made in their own recovery as well. I understood that health was not just for living, but living well. Physical or mental help determines your quality of life. When a crisis occurs, the support one has will most definitely have a tremendous impact on recovery. When I was attending physical therapy, I also saw the patients who had not progressed very well. Mentally they remained weak and it showed physically as well. This made therapy for them extremely unmotivated and challenging. One of these days became the most enlightening for me. My physical therapist told me on one of my visits that he noticed a huge change in several of his patients since I had arrived. He told me that without me even realizing, I was motivating them with my positive attitude and larger than life goals for my own recovery. Most importantly, the kindness I showed to everyone I came across. Patients who were there twice as long, sulking in dark thinking, now had a motivating sense of support to positively lift them now through their recovery and journey. One they most likely never had. At this age, I didn’t go to therapy to worry about anyone else except for what was ahead of my future. I was more focused on me getting back to where I was before and fighting off the negative words that were previously spoken upon me. However, I realized that I would have easily been in their position or even worse if it weren’t for the blessings through the support and love that others were giving me at the very same time. A new hope that was granted rather than questioned. For this was a life changing circumstance that truly laid the foundation for me to keep on climbing, loving, giving, and living each day full of thanks. I saw the light and I was able to touch it. With my capabilities to do so while recognizing when others didn’t have that chance, all I could do was share it. It is the lesson that I continue to carry with me.

I have lost and I have suffered, but I know that with every challenge I have literally survived worse. That power keeps me dancing forward with my head up high and my heart full. Today gives you another reason to keep your head up high and smiling through. You have made it! I am stronger and always prepared to stand strong against what my be in front of me. My core was once crushed but it never crushed the core of who I was or would ever become. Not only did I heal physically, but mentally I substantially grew to a place I never new could ever live within me.

Each of us hold a super power. Look within yourself to use it and remain strong throughout your walk. Our journey makes our story. Share yours with others. Keep surviving, thriving, supporting and inspiring too. Where we may not always have much to give, our support and kindness goes a long way, and much more than we will ever know for some. It was through the unity of others that brought remarkable forces to my greatest aid in need. Through my own survival, I was able to truly learn who I was and ever could be going forward. Through my recovery, I learned the unbreakable strengths that I never knew could exist within one person. These strengths will only increase over time. As a whole, I learned that it is through community we can survive, but unity is most important to how we thrive.

My life has given me the challenges that have allowed me to recognize them as blessings. This particular moment was the beginning of my greater purpose. I understand the extremes of what life can offer and the magnifying effects it  brings to those with little to no support to overcome a crisis. There is always a gap to fill.  With each individual that steps forward, stability rises. This is crucial for the positive outreach that we hope to have among our communities. To do what we can do to give others the potential to receive a chance we have been given throughout our own fight. Never losing site of where we came from. We all have a story, maybe a few. The way we remain compassionate is never forgetting our story. This is why I share mine.

Continued blessings through your walk. Keep dancing through your journey!

-Amanda Marie Wilkinson

 

Adult Education Resources, Community, Education, lifestyle, Mental Health, motivation, planning, Uncategorized

Graduation at any level, is the highest level of achievement!

unitywithcommunity

Summer is near and we are coming to the end of the Spring Season. May is a month where we see much bloom and I must say, I just smile when I look at all that just blossoms around me. It isn’t about the flowers that have planted their seeds and nature took its course. It is about the people that have planted their dreams and have flourished to greater heights of reality. May is a month where sacrifice and lessons have made it to be the biggest part of the education for many and is recognized and celebrated as the highest accomplishment one could endure. May is a month of new and brighter beginnings for those graduating. Graduation at any level is an achievement that is undeniably a road one cannot undermine. A road that is incomparable to another. A dream for so many. A journey of the highest level of strength training- both mentally and physically. The biggest reward that sets you up the ladder that you will continue to climb.

Growing up I felt alone in my educational journey. My parents were not physically or mentally capable of supporting my needs, much less had too much more of a worry towards my education. Our home was incredibly unstable and we often went without. At the age of 12, I began to work. Finding jobs babysitting and odd jobs like painting and cleaning businesses. I needed this for school clothes and supplies. It also helped with basic necessities when my parents could not fulfill these needs. I counted on the right people in my life that I looked up to for inspiration and guidance. Friends and families that showed me a different light than the one I lived in for so long with my family. It is what kept me hopeful and the ability to grow towards greater things outside of my box. I knew there was more out there for me, I just didn’t know how to make the moves towards anything more than the struggle I always knew. I was a self sufficient child that learned how to work. I learned the value of the life we are all blessed to have, and I never took for granted the lighter moments of life either. I counted on myself to be responsible to go to school. It was a place of safety, and also a place of hope for me. Early on, I had already learned the biggest lessons from my parents, those I would never want to repeat. Lessons I am thankful for as they taught me more than I could have ever learned in a book. Though the books I never took for granted because I understood how important as well as remarkable it was to have the chance to obtain a higher education. At the age of 15, I dropped out of high school. Not because I was a troubled kid or didn’t like school. In fact it was the opposite. I loved school and I worked really hard. There were subjects in particular, like math, that I struggled with but I worked hard and I had many wonderful friends that were blessings throughout that time as my greatest support. However, there was one class that I failed (for the first time) and I was told that the only way that I could move forward was to go to summer school. I knew that this was a slim option as I couldn’t afford to go to summer school. Nor did I have transportation to go to and from summer school each day. My mother didn’t drive and we didn’t have a car. I wasn’t old enough to drive either. I looked at all of my resources but they were scarce. I will never forget how upset I was and even more so at the inability to do something that I knew was so crucial to my future. I hated being in such a helpless position and I felt so unsupported and alone. I just knew that I had to look at my options as soon as I could and figure out how to finish school one way or another.  I continued to work for others and save money. Eventually getting additional jobs as I turned 16. I worked in local restaurants and catering venues. Often I would see my old classmates drive in. I wanted nothing more to reach my goal of graduating high school. I was embarrassed, but I knew there was nothing more that I could do. I had to continue to work hard and save money. Luckily I lived walking distance to a community college. I would walk there and I started looking into the GED program. I would go to the library and utilize the computers to study and I saved money for materials to study and focused on the exam. When it came time for me to take the GED exam, I was ready and it was the biggest thing I could do for myself at that age. I remember when I checked the mail and found my test results some weeks later, I was so incredibly proud. I had passed all subjects with high scores and I was in awe of my capabilities. Realistically, I still graduated and even before my former classmates did. I continued to work over the years and continuing my education the best I could. I worked multiple jobs from then on for several years as I had to financially support myself. I put myself through community college before eventually transferring to a private University. Coming where I came from, I knew that I didn’t have another option. I had to do all that I could to work, and most of my work was finding the resources to get me to where I needed to go. Education is not something that comes easy and never should be taken for granted. In my case, like many, there is no other option if one wants to thrive.

It seemed life a lifetime to get through my days at community college, where most spend a couple of years. I was a non traditional and independent student. I continued to work as I started school part time as it was what my schedule allowed. I was inspired by some to study business as it would give me several options to choose from later down my path. I continued to work and go to school and I was very focused. I was qualified for financial aid and I utilized what I needed for my part time student status. I wanted to go full time and get finished in the expected time, but I didn’t have a choice as I had to work to pay for my rent and living needs. Time went on and I didn’t really know which University I would attend, nor did I know if I could ever afford college outside of the community college I had been attending. So for a minute, I put my studies on hold. I worked and continued seeking my options in the meantime.

Some time had past and It was during the time I attended a community festival at a University that would change my life forever. I was on the grounds of this private, prestigious, and what was known to be a very expensive University. The University that I remember as a teenager, that my peers would speak of their dreams to attend. This particular day, I was approached by a representative of the school. The man asking me where I attended school. I was not interested in having a pointless conversation with someone regarding any unrealistic chances of me ever attending such a University. However, I was stopped in my closed tracks when the man told me of the amount of scholarships the University gives to every student each year just for attending and being in good academic standing. I was floored to know that I was potentially able to receive 4 times the amount of tuition assistance than I was already receiving from governmental financial aid and grants. I knew that at this moment, this was it. This was my option. One I thought, like many would be so far fetched but it was here for me at the right time. I didn’t apply right away. I had to do my research. I had to understand what my potential schedule would be and how it could conflict with that of work. Well just when you think that your questions are couldn’t be answered, they are. Just around this time I was laid off from my corporate job. Oh, not to mention I was expecting my first child. This blow came after I told my employer I was expecting. I know! I went through the lay off emotions plus the fury towards the mistreatment. I didn’t let it slide, but I had to move on the best I could as well. This also effected the relationship I had with my partner and I was not only fed up with the mistreatment from my previous employer, but also the mistreatment I was receiving at home. It wasn’t just my future now that I had to plan and secure. I now decided to apply for the business program at this University I previously visited. They were right, I was able to receive a substantial amount of funding to attend. I was now unemployed and any amount of unemployment funding I was receiving was running dry. I had to view what my options were at this point. What seemed to be scarce, but there was a little bit more than none. I had to figure the most flexible, sustainable, and that will provide some stability. I felt everything before was crumbing down in front of me. Then I saw that all that crumbled became my climbing stones.  I understood that in order for me to receive all of the financial aid I could receive from all resources, I would have to be a full time student. I thought OK, well I am a new mother and well I have to work. I knew that this was my time to go back to school because the opportunity fully presented itself to me. Then my answer came. My new full time job was going back and getting my education. Through hard work and good grades, I would receive scholarships to pay for my tuition. I was eligible for government financial aid and I qualified for other grants and loans. I accepted every dime that I could and I not only paid my $50k a year tuition, but it also provided way for me to take care of my child and house hold. I spent the next few years unemployed and a single mother with only community peer support. I didn’t have family close by and I didn’t have a reliable partner to help me juggle mother hood and school, much less anything else. My baby and my education remained to be my focus. Days were not easy. My biggest struggle was child care. Often my child attended class with me, she practically grew up at my University. Moments when she was sick with fever or vomiting, this wasn’t even a big enough excuse to miss a final exam. So what else, she went with me!  I have photos of her asleep in my lap as I am taking a final exam before heading off to her doctor appointment that was scheduled right after.

I couldn’t wait for the day that I would graduate. I always looked further for the light at the end of the tunnel. However, this day would no longer be so important for me, but also for a little girl that I was setting a prime example for. I have always felt this day was just as deserving for her as it was mine. She was there from the beginning of her time learning right there with me.  Sacrifices came often, but you learn that there is no cushion in success. For the many moments like this through my journey, I have extreme gratitude for the exceptional professors and faculty who have went above the imaginable to support US along the way. I am thankful for the blessings that God gave me through those that came out of the wood works to be of a support throughout the long hauled journey.

As a brand new mother, I made the decision to completely change gears and take a turn down another fork that was presented in my path. As challenging as it may seem for anyone to make large changes in their lives, careers, and education, it is! At this particular time in my life, I didn’t create any restricting hardships for what was to come, as easy as it could of been. Instead, I viewed the inevitable as an earned doing in receiving a more positive, beloved, and rewarding future that I only wished for my daughter and I.

Through these years, came some of the tallest hurdles I could physically face, but I leaped. There were times I fell during those jumps. Seldom to none, moments were ever perfect. Just as I thought I could come close, I could never be prepared enough for the unexpected. I just knew that the greatest rewards come from the greatest challenges. So the only way to look, is up. Those challenges I swallowed and embraced. They were the lessons that propelled me further to the blessings that have come along the way.
My education wasn’t coming from a textbook. The greatest lessons grew through the many trials and errors, for I have made many. Though I appreciate where I am even more. How did I get through it all? I just did it-BOLDLY! However, I was blessed with a beautiful community of support as I could not have done it by myself. All of the times that I felt so alone, I was shown that I wasn’t. I am truly thankful to all of whom that walked along side of me through this long hauled journey.
NONE ARE EVER FORGOTTEN! Even if some of the most toughest of times seemed to have clouded our best days. I am thankful for the angels whom I received during these times as a beautiful testament to my faith.  I am forever thankful for all of whom were there from the start and were there helping me make it to the finish line too.
The person I am most thankful for is to the most amazing little girl that was the largest motivating reason I accepted the challenges gracefully and excelled in completion. The reason why slowing down or giving up was never an option. There is no easy way in getting anywhere, I have learned. No matter the circumstances, there are no shortcuts. If there were, there wouldn’t be a journey to appreciate, nor value gained and no lesson taught and no greater result achieved.

Allow your blood, sweat, and tears to become your fueling strength in never giving up on achieving your goals and dreams. There are no limitations to what you can do, if you do not limit yourself. This is certainly true when it comes to learning as well. There is no such thing as too little or too much education. What is important is that you are learning. With learning, you are growing. There are many stages and levels of education which  is evolving throughout our lifetime. Embrace the teachings that are given throughout your journey as you are growing with every step that you take forward. No matter the trials, hurdles, and falls that you may have along the way, these lessons were in place for you to receive your blessings too. Always remember that there are no restrictions in living our passions and ANYTIME is the BEST time to do so! Do not ever lose sight of the light that is within you! Shine your light BOLDLY on all that you wish to see and receive in your future.

Bring your most Bold self in all that you do in discovering your passions and talents while sharing them with others! This is your individual super power!!

I stand proud for those that have graduated along with me this past weekend. I am so proud of all of those that have taken the reigns on their education and pulled through to the finish! Congratulations to all levels of graduates! For the High school graduates, life is now beginning. Stay focused and keep driving! To all College graduates, this is another chapter in your book. Remember that learning doesn’t stop here! For the parents (single or not) who who have made it to the finish line, Cheers to you!!! This is your new beginning! Congratulations!

No matter what your passions are, you are never limited unless you limit yourself! YOUR HAPPINESS CALLS FOR A GREATER COURSE OF ACTION! STAY BOLD! Work TOGETHER!

Unity with Community!

-Amanda Marie Wilkinson

 

Adult Education Resources

Master your Edu-pation

unitywithcommunity

Are you an individual, single parent, widow, divorcee, or all of the above that is thinking about getting that college degree that you have been thinking about for years? Well I am going to share with you my story on how I was able to juggle it all while turning my education into my full time occupation. That’s right, I had earned a yearly salary just to go to go back to school! Work hard, but most importantly smart!

I understand and know how difficult it is to think about when you are that non- traditional student- living outside of campus, perhaps working a part time and full time job, a couple of children or other dependents in the mix. The biggest question you would ask yourself is “How in the world would it be possible”? Would you think I was crazy if I told you that it was 100% possible? How about the idea of dropping some of those responsibilities in order to go to school full time, while still having the flexibility to financially manage your household, children and even some “me time”, too!

Well its ok because I am a little crazy but I want to share with you some crazy amazing things that I have done in order to manage it all while being a student for years and single mother all at the same time. I was never that traditional student. In fact I was 21 years old before I enrolled in my first college course, while the traditional student would be graduating at that age. I came from a single parent household and didn’t have the financial means for much, so I learned at a very early age what it meant to work and I never stopped. At one point I worked one job by day and another part time job at night. It was how I purchased my first car at the age of 18. I lived on my own and by myself scraping to pay rent and bills but I did not have much choice if I wanted to progress in life and towards my future. I had goals and dreams. Much of that I worked towards and achieved but much I also had to put on the back burner so I could eat too. Everything is about balance. Always work towards that thing that is going to become your umbrella for everything else you desire in the LONGTERM. One of the major resources is your education. Education= stable income= you can afford to work towards all of your other passions.

I was a single, young woman and only responsible for myself and I kid you not, I feel I worked and juggled harder than I did as a mother and a full time student. Before becoming a mother, I worked a couple of jobs to support myself 100% and going to school part time and sometimes full time. Before enrolling into a community college, I was able to afford to go to a local Real Estate school as I saved up to do so. I was able to successfully take courses and pass the exam to become an active Realtor. I busted butt learning all that I could, networking, studying, and being proactive in the community. I was 18 years old. I didn’t think I could afford to go to school when I had life to manage and pay for on my own. I learned my next job was going to have to figure out how I was able to do it, and I never lost faith that I would. There is a major difference where mindset drives your actions. When you believe that something is not possible, you are telling yourself it doesn’t exist. Therefore, you are not going to go out and get it. When you say, There is a way, and maybe you just don’t know how, but that is ok. You are at least enabling yourself to go explore and try to get there. You don’t have to go become a realtor, but something that will earn income and provide some flexibility to work towards your larger goals! REMEMBER: THINK LONG TERM!

Back to my other point, I struggled and juggled because I was working multiple jobs for small paychecks when neither of those jobs were stable, or relevant to my long term goals. After obtaining my real Estate license, I was able to drop those other jobs. I now had one job, and as much flexibility as I wanted. Now, I worked very hard as it was basically all I knew how to do. I still had to earn. I also was very young and had much to prove to some of the veteran counterparts. Now, my path continued and it wasn’t as smooth sailing. There were rocks in the road, sometimes boulders, dead ends and then you find yourself on a different trail. It is ok. It is this way when you are learning something new. This is why it is part of your journey. It doesn’t matter what it is in life, nothing will ever be paved on a silk road, even in the best of circumstances. Nothing in this independent life comes easy but you are gifted in so many ways throughout your journey.

After a couple of years of straight working as an adult, I looked back at all of my previous goals that I still desired. I knew I wanted more and one of those things was a college education. I didn’t have the financial or familial support, but I knew that I was capable of doing so myself since I have already done so for years. It was just another level, another challenge. I knew that the only way that I was able to get this was to be disciplined. I wasn’t the typical 18 year old, or even 21 year going out with friends. I was a late bloomer when it came to all of that.

What next?

I didn’t know where to start but I did by going to the local community college and asking a million and one questions. First thing is first- Money! I learned that there was something called a FAFSA. It is a resource for federal aid for grants (free money) and loans if needed. Visit https://studentaid.ed.gov/sa/fafsa and apply today and get started! Did you know that this financial aid is not limited to US citizens, persons with disabilities, Familial status, or refugees?! It provides Scholarships, grants, loans, and even work study programs and job placement. Not just for a degree plan, but even to obtain certifications for trade jobs too! There is something for everyone. Maybe many of you have caught wind of this by now, but at the time I had no clue. This was my first step.

Because I still had to take care of myself the best way I wanted to be able to, I still worked, but I was able to focus more on school once I started. This was important because when you maintain your grades that= more financial aid. This is called scholarships. More free money that is given through your school, community, local non- profits and even national organizations. I knew that my tuition was covered through Fafsa, but it doesn’t hurt to have more resources available especially when you have a house to feed and that old car of yours finally gave out. A lot of life happens in between it all. When you have others to care for, more life happens on top of yours too! I get it. Work harder and smarter!

As time went on, life happened and I found out that I was going to be a mother! I was still in school and working. I was a new expectant mother and all while I was adjusting to sharing my life with another man as a family unit, I was still very much the independent person that I had always been. Trust me it is always the best and first choice you should go for. You never know where life can lead you and you have to be prepared. A 401k for unexpected life circumstances as I call it. Well guess what, THEY DO Happen! Some of mine came all so very soon. During my first trimester I applied for a job at a corporate company. It was the same field my baby daddy worked in and he convinced me maybe it was a bigger opportunity. First of all, this field was not my cup of tea, but I went ahead for it. After I was hired, I disclosed at 3 1/2 months gestation that I was expecting. This did not go over well with my superiority and on the last day of my probation period, I was laid off. Reminded me of what I went through with my child’s father when I told him the news too. Life was a mess at this point. I was now pregnant, unemployed, on unemployment, applying for jobs on the weekly to maintain unemployment- this was a joke. I got to the point where I would walk in show, proudly projecting my growing belly with a smile and simply saying that I am not here to waste your time. It is truly how I felt. Anyhow, this will be on another post!

Well I didn’t lose much, but I gained experiences through all of that and knowledge. Through this experience, it was another I was able to help others with as well. I still had my education to fall back on and continue and work independently as I needed and wanted. During this time, I was also in the planning phase of leaving the very abusive and toxic relationship with the father of my unborn child. I made the decision to leave as early as possible for the sake of my well being and most importantly that of my future child. I didn’t care about how I was going to do it, but I just had faith that I could. I continued taking courses while pregnant and was still enrolled when my daughter was born. After she arrived, I had a part time job lined up from a friend of mine, with that was able to apply for an apartment and get the hell out. I left with nothing except the baby furniture and items that I had purchased for my baby. For a while I slept on the floor. Slowly building my home as I could. I worked during the day and went to school in the afternoons and evening. When they were available, I would take online courses to maintain some flexibility. I wanted that more than anything for my child. I was fortunate to be able to find someone who was able to take great care of her in my home. I couldn’t afford the traditional daycare tuition- at an average of $1300 a month! I was a full time single mother, a student, and worked. I had below minimum support and the support I did have was through what I would find through friends, and most often community. Surviving is one thing but thriving is a different level. In order to keep climbing, you have to work together. Know that what ever seems like a loss, it is the opportunity to gain in its place. It all exists for a greater purpose and reason. Sharing with others is the greatest benefit to all. As a source, in many cases the biggest resources come from community. What you lack, someone else can help provide and vice versa.

Finding The Right Plan For You

First Ask yourself “What do I need for my situation now”? This will help guide your first steps in the direction you need to go. Be honest and write your needs down. Move toward what gives you this and move away from what doesn’t. Your check off basis!

Moving on some time later, when I decided to look into attending universities to finish a Bachelors degree plan. Community colleges provide up to 2 year associate degrees, but I knew that I wanted to climb higher. I had to. After all I was already going and I didn’t want to slow down even further. I am now thinking about the long term goals and future for not just myself, but now my child. Once you have that momentum going, there is no benefit to stopping. No matter how hard it may seem. Just keep going and you WILL get there faster than you realize. I promise! I am always realistic and honest with myself. I had federal financial aid that covered my tuition at the community college level, plus some extra. This was a huge part of my personal income. However, a University is more expensive and you have to make your smart decisions based on your individual and family needs. I knew I would stay local, but I needed to look into every university that would provide the most benefit to me now so that I can finish and move on with life. I still received grants and scholarships through FAFSA, but I needed more. My second part time job was researching and applying endlessly for every scholarship opportunities. The hard work is the research. Well guess what, over the years, I now have my own personal database of scholarship resources. This is determined by your degree plan of course, but Reach out to me! For right here, I am sharing resources that benefit the general public. We will have plenty of conversations in other posts! Don’t hesitate to reach out and I am happy to give as much as I can. Your questions and comments help others too! Lets not miss anything.

When it came time for me to apply to Universities, the most important thing for me was financial ability and stability. I knew that once I was in, I needed to be a full time student- minimum 9 hours (3 courses) a semester. Not only to receive financial aid and scholarships, but realistically I needed to finish as soon as possible and move on with life. So my goal was to find a university that offered the most financial aid, scholarships, and support for me and my child. Based on my personal needs, I needed support and as much of it as I could possibly get. The university I chose not only was one of the most prestigious private schools, but ended up being the biggest support I have ever received in my life. I didn’t apply to a private school because I could afford it, but it was based on what they offered every student to be able to afford to go. I received more scholarship funds just from the university for just being a student there and in good academic standing. That alone paid my tuition each semester. I still received federal grants and scholarships, and when life happen (which it did often) I utilized the government loans that were offered as well.

Now when it comes to loans, many people freak out. I get it. Its a form of debt. Though lets be clear and honest here. Never take out more than you need, and if you need all that is offered (I have been there), do it. A way of looking at it is that in the hardest of times, you are going to school to better your future and outcomes. Right now you are paying yourself in advance to do it. Repay yourself back when you have obtained that degree. Don’t freak out. Do what you have to do. Those moments of desperation become less of a worry when you are working towards something much larger.

Not only did my University provide additional aid, but I also spoke to different university departments to find out every scholarship available for my personal degree plan. Semester, I was getting paid to be in school. I very quickly found myself in a much more stable position than I was ever before. I was able to be a full time student, a full time mother, and focus on those important jobs in my life, as well as learn to go back and enjoy everything else I had previously put on the back burner. I was relaxed and less stressed about how I was going to pay bills, child care, and even the basic necessities. My earned income was the fact that I was a student. I earned more yearly than the average individual employee, AS A STUDENT! My job was to do well in school as I already expected to. I no longer had to balance part time work and in-flexible schedules to survive. I was able to let go of everything else that was irrelevant to that time and focus on school, my child, and everything life threw at me too!

Other Resources

Another huge beneficial resource is Workforce Solutions. They are a source that not only provides free job training and placement- but also tuition assistance, childcare tuition assistance, GED training and testing and much more. All you have to do is fill out a very simple application. Thats right, so visit: http://www.wrksolutions.com/for-individuals/financial-aid/workforce-solutions-scholarships and start building for your future. Keep in mind, there may be modifications or slight differences based on your geographic region. Be sure to ask, but here is a great start!

Again, it took a lot of work for me to get to this amazing point because I didn’t know anything in the beginning. Just because I didn’t know, didn’t mean it was impossible. I had to either find it or create it for myself. Some resources I found much later and I wished I knew much earlier on. Life would have been so much easier, but we all know it is a part of learning and growing. This is why we are all here to share to help each and everyone of us thrive. Remember, nothing is easy. Unless you have money- but you have to work for that too! Start with your education and let it be your edu-pation! It is the best that you can do for yourself. Everything else becomes a piece of cake and then you can really sit back and enjoy eating it too! I promise.

No limits to achieving the Best You

Whether you are a single lady or man, a single parent, a widow, a grandparent, a refugee, or a new resident to this country. There is opportunity for everyone and I have seen many in every category succeed. Every day is taken one day at a time. Step by step, and start to see it as a way of enjoying the process. There is support and many are rooting for you! Be very proud of you and your journey!

 

I hope all in this nutshell helped, but please reach out either in comments and email and I am happy to respond with further assistance at my very best. There is so much out there but everyone is unique in their situation. I will like to learn from you just as much as you can learn from my experiences and with that, we share and all can further help one another! 🙂 Unity with Community!

 

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