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Like everyone else on planet Earth, I relate to daily sacrifices, the bums and boo’s, an occasional outcry, and the disappointments that are inevitably uncontrolled.. especially by you. I even realized that most of us actually live with chronic stress in spite of how we think we manage it. The amount of relatable and contributing factors over at least a 6 month period of time may sound a lot less than a lifetime. Though, calculating what a lifetime of a system that is unbalanced, non-cared for (or properly), the daily risks are endless even for what we have come to believe is considered the norm. ie. Relationships, work, home, and add in the crisis situations most are actually faced with. We have a built in mechanism that helps balance what becomes unbalanced within our person. The fight or flight hormones released, or what I tend to call the “survive and thrive, don’t think, just do” that keeps us flying through our days of struggle. However, as our bodies are like our personal engines, they too get broken down over time of destruction.

I understood this mechanism of resiliency as a young person growing in this world. I was always in survival mode. It was an unfortunate practice that I adopted and ultimately what I only knew for years. Once becoming a young adult, it was habitual. My motto became “what next”? Sometimes challenges can be self inflicting, and often cured with a changed perception and value upon “what is”. Where we all go through the process of trial and error, learning and becoming; there are those too whom I relate to with the biggest challenges on managing what is uncontrolled with others. Growing up, you may have had the lack of support- even with the basic necessities that a child needs for healthy tools of development. This creates a survival pattern almost innately. However, what is most important is to grow up changing the order of others mistakes or their lack of, and not becoming yours. Count them as a blessing of lessons. Yes, we choose our friends, partners, employers, etc., over our lifetime, we also choose whether they fit well for the goodness in our lives and removing the toxicity when needed and not conforming and sacrificing otherwise. For those times we choose otherwise, you have to learn to understand that the only individual you can control is yourself. There is nothing wrong from stepping out and doing what is absolute best for you. Where many may stay in one place, whether it is good for them or not, due to the notion of “stability”, the truth of the issue is, toxicity is not stability. It is not nurturing, fulfilling, loving, and will never outweigh the benefits of what fulfills your absolute needs nonetheless.

The idea of others influencing you to settle down, stay with your daily routine of what ever that may consist of- that isn’t working for you, or bow down to the challenges that are unnecessarily placed in front of you; is not the best option I can imagine being available. However, studying yourself well enough to understand who you are, planting those seeds for the growth of those needs mind, body, and spirit first and foremost is one I will consider. Unfortunately, it seems that the world has lived according to the opposite of what seems to be simple logic. Complicating this and living a lifetime of chronic challenge before realizing it isn’t sustainable. Finally, starting to eliminate the modifiable factors in their lives. How is it that peace hasn’t been build innately in our person? Perhaps it is because it has become extinct in our society. The land in which we all share has been replanted and overturned. Peace is now becoming the biggest challenge for most to receive when we can teach love, kindness, compassion, giving, and unity early on. Replanting the seeds across our communities in which can be empowered with growth rather than demolished by self righteousness, selfishness, greed, hatred, envy, pain, violence, and disconnect. How is it we can’t be loathed with chronic peace instead?

Managing chronic stress is difficult when we fall into the pot of negativity that only continues to be stirred. Creating a sense of false hope and coping mechanisms that feed more to the toxicity which become a sustained release throughout our bodies. Through alcoholism, substance abuse, self discrimination, mental illness and even self inducing illness including: autoimmune disease and cancer is the result. These are real life conflicts which are produced by the masses. It is increasingly growing among communities and seen within the healthcare industry. Your most important concern should be attending to your person. Everything else will fall into the place it truly fits into your life that was freely given. Forget pressuring yourself in the wrong career, relationship, home, and everything else that makes this infinite list of life. What doesn’t fit, cant be pushed to do so and it will only push you against all that you truly are. Take your lessons from the mistakes provided by others to help identify your true path rather than being mislead by theirs. Manage the modifiable factors by process of elimination. This comes all to easy when you know who you truly are rather than what you may have been mistaken one time or another. It is absolutely OK to step out of an unstable structure that was once built and ultimately consumed you. Otherwise it is only a matter of time that structure will fall. Your recovery after that moment may be more painful and unnecessary than what should ever be in existence.

There are often times we are seeking a change in our lives but we allow the negative influences to deteriorate our being when we stay in that confined space. Your change begins with stepping out. Seeking ways to lift ourselves in the time of solitude is a practice we can give ourselves. Lifting and supporting others in a reciprocal matter is a simple unity that can easily be seen rather than overlooked. Recognizing where we each individually play a role in how we survive and thrive, and most importantly standing up and on a solid ground for what you only can provide for yourself. The path you pave will be visited by those who are seeking likeness. For those who don’t, one less factor to modify. Step out and discover your world and create it using the tools that you are given. What you are seeking will not be able to present itself unless you step out.

We were not born with cowardliness, but the continuous developing strength to form and uphold our power, knowing love, and self control. Not falling as a prisoner to anything that may fall short of this. Having your vision clear and plotting in an architectural form will allow you to build your visionary path in due time while becoming your map and keeping you on the track you pave. For those of whom you may come across on your path, understand this is by way of a common place. Each of you serving as a ripening strength and resource by sharing your journeys that brought you to meeting. Lifting oneself and doing so for others by sharing in unity.

Unity with community!

– A.M.W