Are you an individual, single parent, widow, divorcee, or all of the above that is thinking about getting that college degree that you have been thinking about for years? Well I am going to share with you my story on how I was able to juggle it all while turning my education into my full time occupation. That’s right, I had earned a yearly salary just to go to go back to school! Work hard, but most importantly smart!
I understand and know how difficult it is to think about when you are that non- traditional student- living outside of campus, perhaps working a part time and full time job, a couple of children or other dependents in the mix. The biggest question you would ask yourself is “How in the world would it be possible”? Would you think I was crazy if I told you that it was 100% possible? How about the idea of dropping some of those responsibilities in order to go to school full time, while still having the flexibility to financially manage your household, children and even some “me time”, too!
Well its ok because I am a little crazy but I want to share with you some crazy amazing things that I have done in order to manage it all while being a student for years and single mother all at the same time. I was never that traditional student. In fact I was 21 years old before I enrolled in my first college course, while the traditional student would be graduating at that age. I came from a single parent household and didn’t have the financial means for much, so I learned at a very early age what it meant to work and I never stopped. At one point I worked one job by day and another part time job at night. It was how I purchased my first car at the age of 18. I lived on my own and by myself scraping to pay rent and bills but I did not have much choice if I wanted to progress in life and towards my future. I had goals and dreams. Much of that I worked towards and achieved but much I also had to put on the back burner so I could eat too. Everything is about balance. Always work towards that thing that is going to become your umbrella for everything else you desire in the LONGTERM. One of the major resources is your education. Education= stable income= you can afford to work towards all of your other passions.
I was a single, young woman and only responsible for myself and I kid you not, I feel I worked and juggled harder than I did as a mother and a full time student. Before becoming a mother, I worked a couple of jobs to support myself 100% and going to school part time and sometimes full time. Before enrolling into a community college, I was able to afford to go to a local Real Estate school as I saved up to do so. I was able to successfully take courses and pass the exam to become an active Realtor. I busted butt learning all that I could, networking, studying, and being proactive in the community. I was 18 years old. I didn’t think I could afford to go to school when I had life to manage and pay for on my own. I learned my next job was going to have to figure out how I was able to do it, and I never lost faith that I would. There is a major difference where mindset drives your actions. When you believe that something is not possible, you are telling yourself it doesn’t exist. Therefore, you are not going to go out and get it. When you say, There is a way, and maybe you just don’t know how, but that is ok. You are at least enabling yourself to go explore and try to get there. You don’t have to go become a realtor, but something that will earn income and provide some flexibility to work towards your larger goals! REMEMBER: THINK LONG TERM!
Back to my other point, I struggled and juggled because I was working multiple jobs for small paychecks when neither of those jobs were stable, or relevant to my long term goals. After obtaining my real Estate license, I was able to drop those other jobs. I now had one job, and as much flexibility as I wanted. Now, I worked very hard as it was basically all I knew how to do. I still had to earn. I also was very young and had much to prove to some of the veteran counterparts. Now, my path continued and it wasn’t as smooth sailing. There were rocks in the road, sometimes boulders, dead ends and then you find yourself on a different trail. It is ok. It is this way when you are learning something new. This is why it is part of your journey. It doesn’t matter what it is in life, nothing will ever be paved on a silk road, even in the best of circumstances. Nothing in this independent life comes easy but you are gifted in so many ways throughout your journey.
After a couple of years of straight working as an adult, I looked back at all of my previous goals that I still desired. I knew I wanted more and one of those things was a college education. I didn’t have the financial or familial support, but I knew that I was capable of doing so myself since I have already done so for years. It was just another level, another challenge. I knew that the only way that I was able to get this was to be disciplined. I wasn’t the typical 18 year old, or even 21 year going out with friends. I was a late bloomer when it came to all of that.
What next?
I didn’t know where to start but I did by going to the local community college and asking a million and one questions. First thing is first- Money! I learned that there was something called a FAFSA. It is a resource for federal aid for grants (free money) and loans if needed. Visit https://studentaid.ed.gov/sa/fafsa and apply today and get started! Did you know that this financial aid is not limited to US citizens, persons with disabilities, Familial status, or refugees?! It provides Scholarships, grants, loans, and even work study programs and job placement. Not just for a degree plan, but even to obtain certifications for trade jobs too! There is something for everyone. Maybe many of you have caught wind of this by now, but at the time I had no clue. This was my first step.
Because I still had to take care of myself the best way I wanted to be able to, I still worked, but I was able to focus more on school once I started. This was important because when you maintain your grades that= more financial aid. This is called scholarships. More free money that is given through your school, community, local non- profits and even national organizations. I knew that my tuition was covered through Fafsa, but it doesn’t hurt to have more resources available especially when you have a house to feed and that old car of yours finally gave out. A lot of life happens in between it all. When you have others to care for, more life happens on top of yours too! I get it. Work harder and smarter!
As time went on, life happened and I found out that I was going to be a mother! I was still in school and working. I was a new expectant mother and all while I was adjusting to sharing my life with another man as a family unit, I was still very much the independent person that I had always been. Trust me it is always the best and first choice you should go for. You never know where life can lead you and you have to be prepared. A 401k for unexpected life circumstances as I call it. Well guess what, THEY DO Happen! Some of mine came all so very soon. During my first trimester I applied for a job at a corporate company. It was the same field my baby daddy worked in and he convinced me maybe it was a bigger opportunity. First of all, this field was not my cup of tea, but I went ahead for it. After I was hired, I disclosed at 3 1/2 months gestation that I was expecting. This did not go over well with my superiority and on the last day of my probation period, I was laid off. Reminded me of what I went through with my child’s father when I told him the news too. Life was a mess at this point. I was now pregnant, unemployed, on unemployment, applying for jobs on the weekly to maintain unemployment- this was a joke. I got to the point where I would walk in show, proudly projecting my growing belly with a smile and simply saying that I am not here to waste your time. It is truly how I felt. Anyhow, this will be on another post!
Well I didn’t lose much, but I gained experiences through all of that and knowledge. Through this experience, it was another I was able to help others with as well. I still had my education to fall back on and continue and work independently as I needed and wanted. During this time, I was also in the planning phase of leaving the very abusive and toxic relationship with the father of my unborn child. I made the decision to leave as early as possible for the sake of my well being and most importantly that of my future child. I didn’t care about how I was going to do it, but I just had faith that I could. I continued taking courses while pregnant and was still enrolled when my daughter was born. After she arrived, I had a part time job lined up from a friend of mine, with that was able to apply for an apartment and get the hell out. I left with nothing except the baby furniture and items that I had purchased for my baby. For a while I slept on the floor. Slowly building my home as I could. I worked during the day and went to school in the afternoons and evening. When they were available, I would take online courses to maintain some flexibility. I wanted that more than anything for my child. I was fortunate to be able to find someone who was able to take great care of her in my home. I couldn’t afford the traditional daycare tuition- at an average of $1300 a month! I was a full time single mother, a student, and worked. I had below minimum support and the support I did have was through what I would find through friends, and most often community. Surviving is one thing but thriving is a different level. In order to keep climbing, you have to work together. Know that what ever seems like a loss, it is the opportunity to gain in its place. It all exists for a greater purpose and reason. Sharing with others is the greatest benefit to all. As a source, in many cases the biggest resources come from community. What you lack, someone else can help provide and vice versa.
Finding The Right Plan For You
First Ask yourself “What do I need for my situation now”? This will help guide your first steps in the direction you need to go. Be honest and write your needs down. Move toward what gives you this and move away from what doesn’t. Your check off basis!
Moving on some time later, when I decided to look into attending universities to finish a Bachelors degree plan. Community colleges provide up to 2 year associate degrees, but I knew that I wanted to climb higher. I had to. After all I was already going and I didn’t want to slow down even further. I am now thinking about the long term goals and future for not just myself, but now my child. Once you have that momentum going, there is no benefit to stopping. No matter how hard it may seem. Just keep going and you WILL get there faster than you realize. I promise! I am always realistic and honest with myself. I had federal financial aid that covered my tuition at the community college level, plus some extra. This was a huge part of my personal income. However, a University is more expensive and you have to make your smart decisions based on your individual and family needs. I knew I would stay local, but I needed to look into every university that would provide the most benefit to me now so that I can finish and move on with life. I still received grants and scholarships through FAFSA, but I needed more. My second part time job was researching and applying endlessly for every scholarship opportunities. The hard work is the research. Well guess what, over the years, I now have my own personal database of scholarship resources. This is determined by your degree plan of course, but Reach out to me! For right here, I am sharing resources that benefit the general public. We will have plenty of conversations in other posts! Don’t hesitate to reach out and I am happy to give as much as I can. Your questions and comments help others too! Lets not miss anything.
When it came time for me to apply to Universities, the most important thing for me was financial ability and stability. I knew that once I was in, I needed to be a full time student- minimum 9 hours (3 courses) a semester. Not only to receive financial aid and scholarships, but realistically I needed to finish as soon as possible and move on with life. So my goal was to find a university that offered the most financial aid, scholarships, and support for me and my child. Based on my personal needs, I needed support and as much of it as I could possibly get. The university I chose not only was one of the most prestigious private schools, but ended up being the biggest support I have ever received in my life. I didn’t apply to a private school because I could afford it, but it was based on what they offered every student to be able to afford to go. I received more scholarship funds just from the university for just being a student there and in good academic standing. That alone paid my tuition each semester. I still received federal grants and scholarships, and when life happen (which it did often) I utilized the government loans that were offered as well.
Now when it comes to loans, many people freak out. I get it. Its a form of debt. Though lets be clear and honest here. Never take out more than you need, and if you need all that is offered (I have been there), do it. A way of looking at it is that in the hardest of times, you are going to school to better your future and outcomes. Right now you are paying yourself in advance to do it. Repay yourself back when you have obtained that degree. Don’t freak out. Do what you have to do. Those moments of desperation become less of a worry when you are working towards something much larger.
Not only did my University provide additional aid, but I also spoke to different university departments to find out every scholarship available for my personal degree plan. Semester, I was getting paid to be in school. I very quickly found myself in a much more stable position than I was ever before. I was able to be a full time student, a full time mother, and focus on those important jobs in my life, as well as learn to go back and enjoy everything else I had previously put on the back burner. I was relaxed and less stressed about how I was going to pay bills, child care, and even the basic necessities. My earned income was the fact that I was a student. I earned more yearly than the average individual employee, AS A STUDENT! My job was to do well in school as I already expected to. I no longer had to balance part time work and in-flexible schedules to survive. I was able to let go of everything else that was irrelevant to that time and focus on school, my child, and everything life threw at me too!
Other Resources
Another huge beneficial resource is Workforce Solutions. They are a source that not only provides free job training and placement- but also tuition assistance, childcare tuition assistance, GED training and testing and much more. All you have to do is fill out a very simple application. Thats right, so visit: http://www.wrksolutions.com/for-individuals/financial-aid/workforce-solutions-scholarships and start building for your future. Keep in mind, there may be modifications or slight differences based on your geographic region. Be sure to ask, but here is a great start!
Again, it took a lot of work for me to get to this amazing point because I didn’t know anything in the beginning. Just because I didn’t know, didn’t mean it was impossible. I had to either find it or create it for myself. Some resources I found much later and I wished I knew much earlier on. Life would have been so much easier, but we all know it is a part of learning and growing. This is why we are all here to share to help each and everyone of us thrive. Remember, nothing is easy. Unless you have money- but you have to work for that too! Start with your education and let it be your edu-pation! It is the best that you can do for yourself. Everything else becomes a piece of cake and then you can really sit back and enjoy eating it too! I promise.
No limits to achieving the Best You
Whether you are a single lady or man, a single parent, a widow, a grandparent, a refugee, or a new resident to this country. There is opportunity for everyone and I have seen many in every category succeed. Every day is taken one day at a time. Step by step, and start to see it as a way of enjoying the process. There is support and many are rooting for you! Be very proud of you and your journey!
I hope all in this nutshell helped, but please reach out either in comments and email and I am happy to respond with further assistance at my very best. There is so much out there but everyone is unique in their situation. I will like to learn from you just as much as you can learn from my experiences and with that, we share and all can further help one another! 🙂 Unity with Community!
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Unity With Community 